Rest Assured

Last Friday, Good Friday, Jim and I went together to attend Secret Church at the Church at Brookhills in Birmingham, AL.  It was an intense time of Bible study (7 hours to be exact!) and prayer for the persecuted church in Turkey. This time in the word was so refreshing and uplifting to our spirits.  The study guide we were given was filled with scripture after scripture after scripture - all God-breathed and all made for reproof, correction and training.

I was a goner from the very beginning of the night, though, because the row in front of us was filled with college age boys who were so intent on worshipping God and studying his word.  It made this mama of boys extremely glad and I didn't even know them! :) I just kept thinking and praying, "Yes, Lord, please, I want this for my boys! (and my girl, but I was particularly thinking of my boys) I want them to have a passion for you and your word!"

Seeing this group of boys especially touched my heart because toward the end of the row was an Asian boy and you could tell he was ALL IN and of course I just kept thinking of our boy in China! We can't wait for him to know the love of a family and the love of Jesus!

All of the night's study was related to the gospel and how it effects our everyday life. Toward the end of our time of study we came to the topic of rest and how the gospel effects our rest.  We read many scriptures about how we can trust God and rest in Him amidst fear, anxiety, trial and trouble.  We can trust his sovereignty and his goodness.  And this again brought my thoughts back to our little guy and our adoption process. 

A couple of weeks ago I sent out a text to my mom, my aunts and a few of the ladies that I look up to at our church.  I asked them to pray that the updated video that we have been waiting on for over two months would come in that very day! I was so tired of waiting and so anxious to know that our boy was ok and was doing well. (Definitely the waiting and the not knowing are the hardest parts of this whole process!) I knew that these ladies would go before God in a powerful way on our behalf, and I just knew that that video would be in my inbox before the day was out.  But, it wasn't.  In fact, we still haven't been able to receive it.  Do you want to know the strange thing, though?  From the moment that I sent that text and began to get texts in return assuring me that they were praying, a peace and a rest came over my soul.  The fog of sadness and funk that I had been in for a couple of weeks began to lift.  My soul knew without a shadow of a doubt that my God heard those prayers, I knew that he is mighty and powerful to act and that He loves me (and our boy) in a fierce way.  My heart and mind were put at ease because I knew that if we weren't receiving that video that it was because God was doing something greater in our lives.  I could REST in the grace and knowledge that my God is a GOOD God and he knows how to give the very BEST gifts.  He has been shaping me throughout this process.  Chiseling.  Teaching my heart to submit, to wait, to have hope, to have peace and my friends those things are worth more than gold or dare I say, a video.  ;)

And, just by way of update.  I've now added a new page that shows our adoption timeline.  This shows the steps we've already completed as well as what's still to come.  If you're interested in adoption or just interested in how much more we have left to do, please see the tabs at the top of the page and click on the one labeled adoption timeline. Or just click this link http://redthreadofhope.blogspot.com/p/adoption-timeline.html

 I can't tell you how many of these I've looked at on other people's blogs! 

And lastly, we sent out five grant applications today. Whew! Prayers going up!

Not our Plan

Plans.  Are funny things. I am a planner.  When I taught public school one of my most favorite parts of the day was my planning period - and not just because it was my chance to go to the bathroom, grab a drink or snack and regain a little sanity. ;) I loved writing out my plans for the days and weeks to come in nice, neat little boxes.  I loved thinking about how the day would unfold in an orderly fashion, every kid learning to their full potential all the while having fun and thinking that I was the best teacher ever.  Are you beginning to understand that I was/am a bit optimistic? Of course, it never I'm mean rarely happened that way.  Don't get me wrong! I had some great days teaching the children in my classes.  Some days where I actually got to see the light bulb of learning blink on for the very first time. Several days where the majority of my classes were engaged in learning all. at. the. same. time.(My teacher friends can relate!) I can hardly think of a week, however, where at the end I looked at my plan book and there were no erasures, no additional plans sloppily written in on the sides or arrows directing this days activities to another.  They warn you in all of your teacher preparation classes that flexibility is a must for this job - and guess what - they are right! 
Flexibility is a must, and not just for public school teachers.  It is a must for life in general.  Now that I homeschool our kiddos, I see it even more.  Plans are no different here at home.  They change. We have to rearrange, switch and replan on a weekly and sometimes daily basis. 
So when our adoption plans began to change, I'm not sure why I was surprised. :) I recently read a blog where an adoptive dad quoted one of his friends as saying, "There are your plans and then there are God's plans and your plans don't count.".  That my friends is something that we are beginning to see. Our ways are not his ways and our thoughts not his thoughts (Isaiah 55:8).  But, we can trust that all of his paths are loving and faithful (Psalm 25:10). 
When we began this journey we were somewhat open to adding either a boy or a girl to our family, but we were leaning (somewhat heavily) toward a girl.  Our thinking was that Jessa needed a sister and that a sister might fit more easily into our family.  We were also thinking that we wanted a child as young as possible so that there would be a sizeable age difference between the new baby and Jessa. We also had in mind that we were open primarily to minor correctable needs.  Then a few things began to happen.  We began to learn of the growing need for boys to be adopted and a seed began to be planted that maybe we should be more open to adding another boy to our family.  Then we were sent an email by our agency that included the pictures and profiles of some children that were in need of a family.  In this email were two children that we felt were in our age range (younger than Jessa).  One was a girl that had special needs that seemed manageable and one was a boy that we weren't exactly sure what his listed special need meant.  We decided to ask for more information on both.  The funny thing is that I was drawn more to the girl. The name that the agency used was one that I had always liked.  I thought perhaps it was a sign. ;) Little did I know! The boy was a cutie and was the right age, so I simply thought, "Well, we'll ask for his info too."  I emailed our social worker and she let me know that the little girl's file was already on hold with another family, but she immediately sent me the file for the little boy. I opened the file and saw the cutest little smile, dark hair and dark eyes staring back at me.  As I continued to look through the file, though, I realized that his medical needs were a little more complex than I had first assumed.  I also realized that he was much closer in age to Jessa than we had previously thought.  They'd basically be twins.  So, as I'm looking, I'm trying not to get too attached because I'm thinking that Jim will come home and say, "No, I don't think this is the one."  Oh, how I underestimated the Holy Spirit and Jim's willingness to submit!! Have I told you how I love that man!! He came home that night and viewed the file and was just as calm as a cucumber, the word "no" never came out of his mouth.  Now I had prayed before he got home that God would help me to let Jim's decision speak for our family.  If Jim said it was a no, I could be at peace with it.  But the "no" just never came.  We went a few more days and that little face kept popping up in our minds.  We finally decided to put his file on hold and get it reviewed by the International Adoption Clinic at Vanderbilt.  Let me just say that the doctor there is wonderful!! She gave us a run down of what the possibilities might be with his medical condition and she had his file reviewed by a specialist. The what-ifs were slightly overwhelming.  But Jim and I talked after speaking with her and God kept laying the same thoughts on our hearts.  Does every life really matter?  Could we just turn our backs on that little face?  Do we really believe that God uses the weak to display his strength?  We then asked our agency for an update on him and received a couple of little videos.  The videos are priceless and precious!! But again, I was the one that kept letting worry niggle at my brain and Jim was the one who had peace, but I kept feeling that I needed to submit to his leadership for our family.  Peace continued to grow in my heart and then God helped us to find a news story about a little girl who had been adopted with the same medical condition and she was doing great! Then just two days later Jim's sister told us of some friends that they knew that had adopted a little boy with a similar condition.  They had even used the same specialist that had reviewed our file at Vanderbilt and they loved him!  All of this was confirmation for our hearts, so on March 10, 2014 we decided to submit our letter of intent for this little guy.  We received our preapproval from China on March 27th and we are SO excited!!  We still have several hoops to jump through before we can bring him home, but we are so glad to be on this road.  It will probably be sometime in the fall before we travel. 
As I look back, I know that if things were not being worked out this way, that I would have depended too much on my own strength.  If we would  have accepted a referral of a child that completely matched with our plans, I would have been too quick to pat myself on the back - thinking that it had all worked out just as I had planned.  But, God...he knew.  He knew my heart and he had a plan.  :) 
We're not quite ready to share a pic on the world wide web yet, but if you see us out and about we'll proudly show you our little guy!  He is so adorable!!
We also humbly ask for your prayers:


1) Please pray that our little guy will stay healthy, that he will get loving attention from the nannies and that God would prepare his heart for us to come. 


2) Please pray that we will continue to seek to slow life down for our family, so that we can give intentional care and attention to our three little people at home before our world is rocked.  ;)


3) Please pray that God will continue to use this process to strengthen our marriage and our family. 


4) Please pray that we will receive our I800 approval quickly, that our dossier submission will go smoothly and that after we submit our dossier that we will receive our letter of approval (our official match!) in 34 days or less (34 days is the quickest that I have heard of, so that's what I'm going to ask for!!).  P.S. It's ok if you don't know what any of this means! God does!


Thank you, thank you!!!

Sing Over Us

It's been awhile since I've written any sort of update.  There truly just hasn't been a whole lot to tell.  We are nearing the end of the homestudy process! Yay! (Happy dance, here!) After our homestudy is finalized we'll have some immigration paperwork to take care of and then we'll be able to send off our dossier to China Then, we will eagerly await a log-in date with the Chinese government.  After we receive our log-in date we will be able to be matched with a child. (Big smile, here!) We are trying to be patient, but sometimes it is harder than others.  I don't think that I was totally prepared to already feel like we have a child that is half a world away. I know that as we see her picture in a few months that that feeling will just continue to grow and our urgency to get her quickly will intensify.  This feeling of her being half a world away hit me the other day as I was watching Jessa play....

A few days ago Jessa was in my bathroom and she was singing.  I was in my bedroom folding clothes, but I could watch and hear her well.  I noticed she was singing to herself.  She likes to do this, but this time I noticed that she was singing a silly song that the boys and I made up for her.  You see when Jessa was born she was a very bald baby.  Practically no hair at all and we all thought it was adorable.  She still doesn't have much and she's cute as a button.  One day when she was about 6 months old or so, she was very fussy and I was trying to calm her down by singing.  None of the traditional favorites, "Jesus Loves Me", "Rockabye Baby", "The Wheels on the Bus", were working, so I started making something up just to see if it would surprise her into stopping her crying and listening.  The boys were playing in the room too and somehow we came up with these silly lyrics, "Myyyy sweet Jessa bug, She's the one we call our little bald, bald baby!".  Lyrical genius at its best folks! It worked, though!! And for months if she was upset one of us could sing that song and she would quiet right down.  We don't sing it quite as much anymore because thankfully she doesn't fuss quite as much and truthfully the little smartie knows that if I sing it now I'm trying to get her to go to sleep and she goes on high alert. But a few days ago when I noticed her singing, it was this song that she was singing to herself.  Over and over again.  Sometimes she'd use her name and sometimes she'd use other family members' names.  It was especially funny when she sung my brother's name, "My sweet, Jawad (Jarrod), he's the one we call our little bald, bald baby!" I'm sure he wouldn't have appreciated being called  a bald, bald baby! Ha! After I chuckled to myself, though, a thought began to sink in.  We sang that silly song over her in her time of trouble.  We sang it so that she would know that she was safe and that she was loved.  Now she knows it well enough that she can sing the song back to herself and apply it to others.......Isn't this what God does for us?  Zephaniah 3:17 says,

"The Lord your God is with you,
    the Mighty Warrior who saves.
He will take great delight in you;
    in his love he will no longer rebuke you,
    but will rejoice over you with singing." 

The Lord God rejoices over each of us with singing! He sings over us in his great redemptive love.  He sings his song over us so that we can sing the song for ourselves.  He sings so that we know that we know that we know that He loves us. He patiently sings, until we know that we are loved and safe, He sings.  Then we in turn are able to go and sing to others of His great love.  What a great comfort.  

Then wrapped up in this moment I prayed that God would be there in China, where we can't be yet.  That he would sing over our baby.  That she would know even before she knows us, that she is loved and that she is safe.  That she would know that she has a family that is waiting and even better that she has a Savior and that He delights in her.  That he is a warrior who is present and will save.  That he will rejoice over her with singing.  

Jim told me that he heard this song on the radio the other day.  It pretty well sums it up.  Merry Christmas! Click here to listen to Third Day's Merry Christmas. :)

People to See, Places to Go, Names to Sign

So how are things going? Well, we've begun our homestudy process.  This is a time of gathering information that shows that we are prepared to welcome another child. It is also a time of educating ourselves on the adoption process as well as the parenting of an adopted child.  There is a lot to do.  Things to read, fingerprints to be made, doctors exams to be completed and lots and lots of signatures to be made! We've been told that this process generally takes anywhere from 2-4 months.  But, I'm grateful for things to do that seem to be moving the process along.  As a part of this, we have started reading the book The Connected Child by Dr. Karyn Purvis.  So far, I have been very impressed with the book.  It seems to me to be a good read for any parent, but especially adoptive parents.  I also wish that I had read this book when I was teaching school as I think it would have given good insight when dealing with kids that came from tough places. 

In the meantime, it's been really neat to see the things that God already knew we'd be studying with the kids during this season.  We use the Sonlight curriculum for our Bible, history, read-alouds and language arts.  So far, this curriculum has had us to study an overview of Chinese culture, pray for Chinese people and we are now reading a chapter book called Little Pear, which is about a young boy growing up in China.  Later this year, we'll also read a book called The Great Wall.  :) Also, in our homeschool co-op they read The Story about Ping, which is set in China.  While reading this book, they were able to experiment with chopsticks, try Chinese food and locate China and the Yangtze River on a map.  How neat that God already knew the path that we would be on and that our children would benefit from learning these particular things at this particular time! We chose this curriculum about 6 months before we made the decision to adopt from China! God has also placed people in our path who have recently gone through this journey and have already been a big help to us!

The kids' seem to be thinking more about what we're doing.  In fact, the other day the big boy and I were reading on the couch and he was holding a ball cap in his hand when he said excitedly, "Mama! This hat is made in China!"  I smiled and said, "Yeah!"  He then said that he wanted to wear it when we went to China and maybe the person who made it would still be there in China and would see him wearing it. ;) I agreed that maybe, just maybe that would happen.  Lol! 

The Beginning

I was unsure how to start this first post.  I've never written a blog before and I've gone back and forth about where to begin.  I originally started writing a post that began with this picture of me and all my babies, big babies, little babies, cloth babies, vinyl babies, brown babies, blue babies, white babies, babies with yarn hair, babies with ratty synthetic hair :).  My love for babies....but the story was deeper than that. 

That story that I began writing drug on and on and really it only told the story about Jim and me.  That's not the story that we wanted to tell.

We wanted to tell you a simple story - one that God begun long ago.  One that begins like this, "Today, Jim and I submitted our application to adopt a baby from China...". :)

"I find China!"

This is the beginning, the beginning of a process that will probably take anywhere from a year to 18 months, the beginning of a lot of ups and downs, the beginning of a new normal, the beginning of a new season of difficult coupled with wonderful, the beginning of trying to lay our lives down in a whole new way,  the beginning of a new dependence on God, the beginning of new blessings and the beginning of a new reason for us to call on His name. 

Our blessings and our current reasons to call on His name. ;)

We plan to update our progress on this blog.  You can follow along if you'd like. :) We would ask that as we begin this process that you would remember us in your prayers.  We are excited to have a front row seat in watching God do what He does best - redeem.

"Children are a gift from the Lord. They are a reward from Him." Psalm 127:3